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Project Panic!


                   
      For the past few months, I feel like I am the only one, desperately holding onto my friends, honestly because I don’t know what I’ll do when these bonds of the past are severed, I don’t have any energy left in me, to make new friends and reach that comfort in new companionship, to find some misfits to call them my tribe,  I am so tired of all the bullshit of all these fake ass people I meet on a daily basis, I know how hard it is to find real friends and how much harder it is to invest so much time and energy in them when the time is the only thing that I am running out of. 
                     And Now suddenly it's time to make new friends because apparently, all the previous times don't count, and I'll let you in on a secret: making friends in your 20s is hard. You can't just go up to someone on the playground anymore like we used to do when we were kids, Friendships in your 20s are based on mutual likes, mutual interests, and sometimes mutual loneliness.
If the people you grew up with or some people who were your second family are suddenly far away, it's really hard to make new connections,
because most people already have their groups; you're the only outsider, At least that's how it seems. (apparently making new friends is one of the most common problems for 20-somethings) I've been told, a lot of adults make friends through their children, but until we get to that point, we're just kind of stuck out in the middle of no friends land.
When you factor in the new struggles of your newfound adulthood, making new friends seems overwhelming at best, It's almost impossible to make new friends if you're snuggled up in bed by 10 pm, I struggle with this all the time' I'm too anxious to go out anywhere, and I turn down a lot of invitations to things, Then I get anxious about not having friends, which makes me too anxious to go out and make friends, It's a vicious cycle.
                  I am 24 now and I don’t know If I am ready to face the world yet, I am actually a little scared to make it on my own with all these unfamiliar faces around me, but I think I have become a little better than what I was a few years back, I have successfully destroyed my inhibitions, I honestly no longer care of what people or my friends or my relatives think of me, this is liberating, this feeling is so damn precious, I wish I was like this in my college days, life would have been much simpler, but better late than never,(umm.. maybe I’ll tweet about this,)I have finally made my peace with the past, or at least I think I have.
                                       Oh and as soon as I figure out the formula for making new friends, I'll be sure to share the secret, Until them Please bear me with me you guys?!
Bibwewadi 21st Jan 2014

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