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Quarantine Chronicles



Some people might frown upon jokes that seem to be making light of the most serious issue currently facing mankind (aside from climate change, duh!): the coronavirus pandemicThose people probably don’t have a sense of humor, or maybe just don’t resort to humor and self-deprecating jokes as a coping mechanism for the horrors of the world, like me. It’s a miracle they get through their day-to-day, honestly.

Too early? Inappropriate response to a global emergency? Then this one's probably not for you. Give yourself a break and it a miss. I'm not sure my ego could take another email of disgusting comment approvals.

For the rest of you miscreants. here goes nothing...

Of course, like most 'boys' my age, I had one overriding concern, sitting at home at the end of week one of my isolation, watching things deteriorate worldwide. The blustering leaders, who only days before, had been dismissing all worries and concerns, Are now playing catch up big time. with their false accusations, hunger for power, election rallies, and usual political behavior, this is not just in India but this goes for all world leaders, with Money, the primary concern of nearly all of them. Well, this is how capitalism and democracy coexist, and neo-colonialism survives. this is not something new we haven't seen. Unlike last time, I know the vaccine is here, but that's not how pandemics works, it's not a miracle cure, you have to take the vaccine at regular intervals with proper precautions over a significant period of time. unless I am missing something here, this trip to shits-burg is far from over.

WhatsApp groups are abuzz from the start with scaremongering and Instagram is now flooded with weird challenges, cringeworthy poetry, Sad af reels, and trash quotes with the same stupid music for the 100th time on almost all of them. what is even the point of Instagram now, it has become Facebook 2.0, The very thing it destroyed, I guess Fate loves irony! haha. why everyone is suddenly either too quiet or too radicalized, why is everyone either being apolitical or forcing others to be, Some people are mad at me for being apolitical for a while now, well it's hard for them to understand that I am a corporate slave now, I serve the capitalist overlords and no it's not too cynical, because to be fair not everyone has a vidhayak-chacha or higher casts or money and influence or even a proper representation in demographics in census or in history books to save their necks if something remotely goes ill. voicing your own opinion is a privilege not everyone can afford. For an aboriginal like me, I have grown up accepting the fact and to think I was the most political person years back brings a smile to my face now. well, the past is in the past. let's leave it there.

I turned to try and find someone more sensible, but the situation is beyond salvaging. Reading books at home or binge-watching anything I could find is the only thing that is keeping me calm and composed now. And above all, My friends who have never called me in years are suddenly asking for my opinion on what movie they should watch or what games they should start next. And as always I am happy to help.

When the first news of the lockdown came through, you won't believe how confusingly happy I was. It's confusing because like Bruce Banner said in Avengers: Endgame, "these are confusing times". well, these really are. You won't need me to tell you what happened next. A man on his own, with an open laptop in front of him and nothing on other media to distract him (does anyone ever start binge-watching Netflix during daylight hours?). It was a non-stop series marathon. I have watched everything I could think of. Documentaries, and cooking shows, From Gordon Ramsay being mean to novice chefs to why the Russian vaccine Sputnik V is the worst thing that ever came out of Russia (on FOX News or as we Indians call it "Republic TV of murica'), literally everything. I have watched so many things during this lockdown and previous ones, TV shows and movies from Eastern European capitals, I am beginning to recognize many of the major tourist sites. , you name it, I may have watched it. (I don't know but Somehow all the British TV shows look like they were shot in 2002.) I watched until my eyes burned and 3rd shot of coffee couldn't keep me awake. My back had cracked When I retired that night, I winced as I pulled on the lounge pants I customarily wear for bed and slept with both arms outside the covers like a guilt-ridden schoolboy in a Victorian morality tale.

The other day I was worried about my dwindling stock of essential supplies, I ventured outside. In baggy shorts. On the hottest day of April so far. It was a fruitless journey. Neither supermarket, nor corner convenience store, nor even the local chemists had anything in paper with a quasi-medical function. There were desperate people everywhere. I even spotted one boy checking the small print on female hygiene products to see whether they might be pressed to perform whatever need he was thinking of. Younger customers were openly discussing whose responsibility it might be either to drive this potential disease magnet back into his own home, or, preferably, to the local cop shop where strong bars and indifferent constables would prevent such peripatetic outrages in the future.

On the other hand, I am tired of telling my family members to wash their hands again and again and not go out unless it's an emergency, maybe I need to calm down, or maybe I am right? for once. You can never be too careful, you know.

The whole world seems to have stopped now and pollution which drastically decreased in the last lockdown is again back to its 'normal' levels. which is de-pressing. I can finally binge-watch Brooklyn 99 and now my family isn’t complaining about why am sticking to the TV on weekends for hours so that’s good for me.

 To sum up, Finally, now that my work life isn't so demanding of my time anymore, maybe I can afford to visit my native place maybe once this week, but I don't know if that's a good idea, it's not a good idea, I know... but god I wish I could take a break, just this once. I am desperately in need of one, considering my last two weekends.

 It is weird, I am getting more opportunities to write, which I wanted but I asked myself today If I don't want to write about coronavirus what else do I want to write about. Is anything goofy, or funny right now? as of now I am going to continue to write and trust myself, Laughter always prevails!. which is why coronavirus is right though, I really should stay in and save money. which borderlines on toxic levels of optimism but what the hell!

I have to sleep now so I guess that's goodbye for today. Good night folks And remember to wash your hands when you've finished doing literally anything.  just like last year. 
2021! A new decade of hope and uncertainty, May you be kinder to us all!

 


Comments

Sid495 said…
I feel you bro.. these are truly confusing times.

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