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Weekend Woes: A Comedy of Errors

       A few days back I heard the voice of a frenemy from work, in a half-awaken state in the early hours of shift, “Are you free this weekend, wanna hang out?”,.. I guess it was a message that unfolds now… Lost are the days it seems, when this world was utterly busy in the business and busyness of life.  Lost are the days it seems, when we looked forward to some easy and comfy weekends.  The world is shaken by an utter radicalization and brain cell poverty that can’t even be seen with the naked eyes.  I am used to waking up to this fundamental truth every single morning now. No peace of mind, no stability and no sticking to plans, no natural positivity, no following healthy habits, nothing conspicuous yet it’s there…the FEAR of an unseen and unraveled mysterious tomorrow, they named it Fate. 

 Exploring new horizons is necessary for evolving but the struggle of trying to fit in and trying to be my true self keeps me occupied, as indecisive as I am, the constant fear of letting people down slowly creeps up on me and tries to take down whatever confidence or courage I had mustered until that moment, I guess the ghosts of the past and the hardships of childhood and teenage years manifests itself to bring me down every now and then, I guess I will have to resolve these issues at some point, I walk a tight rope of self-awareness and self-hate, so atleast I know what is wrong with me, and what is I am really good at, This weekend I learned that I've still had a long way to go and people around me are really smart, and seem larger than life, basically more of an adult than me, I never thought they weren't, but the realization hits different when you see it, there's no comparison here, it's like comparing apples and oranges, but still I feel inadequate, What is ironic is that they thought they were too boring for me, which is funny because all my life I have been called many things and boring was consistently right there, with immature and too sensitive, at least I am aware of my inadequacies and strengths on a deeper level, because let's be honest no one is perfect, but I still felt I was bumming everyone out and should not have been there. I guess everyone feels that way at some point, but this is my blog so this will be only my POV. At least I had fun, and I am thankful for that, I hope they know that... 


To summarize this was the much-needed wake-up call for me, to detach myself from worldly woes and reengage in my lifelong quest of proving myself for the sake of my grand heritage and forefathers, this weekend tore the fabric of reality and I can finally see what was hidden in plain sight, I'll be honest I had gotten lost and took a detour from the main quest but this weekend was the ultimate earth-shattering Armageddon that showed me the light, navigating through dark cave became so much easier now, now that I've seen the first light of ‘Durin's day’, (Hehe I'll never get tired of using LOTR references) I don't have any good outros but I'll go with this... To paraphrase Lord Elrond from The Hobbit,


 "The same moon shines upon us tonight, 

It seems you were meant to come to Rivendell, 

 Fate is with you, Thorin Oakenshield!" 


Bhushi dam 25th Sept 2021

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