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Existence?




          Am I dreaming or awake? The head feels so heavy. Is the person talking outside the room for real? Why is he talking in such a loud voice, with his high spirited laughter and over-enthusiastic chatter? I wonder if he knows that he looks like a clown inside a chimp's body with his abnormal walk and constant head bobbing.
The tree looks too huge to be normal. The street lamp is too bright to look at directly. Do we need street lights with 1000 Watt bulb in them? It's making me blind and my vision blurred. Everything seems larger than life. The gurgling bike passing by appears to be floating, giving off steam and smoke from the rear like a cigarette between a drunken man's fingers. Reality? No, I must be dreaming. The tea stall is too crowded with people. They all seem to be relaxed and happy. Or are they? Is it really them or have they just masqueraded the real frustrated themselves from the world with a wide grin and a loud voice? Is this unshaven friend too short-sighted to notice it? Or is he just letting him be happy, even if momentarily?

My feet have taken control of me. They are taking me places, without me directing them to. Its the feeling of the oblivion, not knowing my needs and wants, and yet pursuing a target. The feeling is strange for a person who has had everything always in control.

Why am I typing? I don't know. Someone told me I should. It helps attenuate bad thoughts and lighten up the heart.

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Location: India

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